Masquerade

In the hush of night, when i 
take it off, the face i most long 
for you to meet, i am left with a lump
of flesh, of skin
with a mass, greying and thin 
my heart skips a beat, one, two
and i am a bundle of joy 
wrapped in a blanket as my
feelings run away with me
my heart skips a beat, one, two 
and i am a child of delusions 
soaked in grandeur and wet to 
the touch as the clock reads three.

It is certain, as sure as the shine 
of the sun, the blue of the sky, the 
ache in my soul when i wake, a fish
out of water, it is certain ——
the other day, i was air 
fluid, unseen, matter, air
and try as i might, i could not
pause, not for a moment, not to 
stretch my back, arms, legs
not at all, not at all
the other day, i was fire 
swift, warm, ravenous, fire 
and try as i might, i could not 
halt, not for a moment, not to 
lick my wounds, hurts, cuts
not at all, not at all. 

In the dead of night, when i 
take it off, the face i most yearn
for you to touch, i am left with a
shell, hollow, void 
with a canvas, blank, bare
my heart skips a beat, one, two 
and i am drunk with hysteria 
slurring, staggering, drunk
my heart skips a beat, one, two 
and i am sightless, blind 
i will not look, no
i will not look.

It is certain, as sure as the light
of the moon, the twinkle of the stars, the
comfort of my masks, it is certain ——
today, i will be force
a push, a pull, force 
and i will stop, pause, halt
smell the roses
and i will stop, pause, halt
seize the day.

perhaps, i will look.

---

Editor’s Note:

Nearly every one of us wears a mask, and there a variety of reasons for putting one on. The trouble with them is when they do more than hide those ‘unwanted’ parts; when they stop us from living. There’s deep comfort in being hidden, fear of the outside world’s opinions does not exist, but by being seen we can allow ourselves to gain many blessings: community, friendship, a life lived to the fullest.